visit to croatia
Originally written: June 19
Hey!
So it's been a really long time since I've posted here! I don't see that as a bad thing – this blog is solely a personal endeavor, and life should always come first. I've been having so many new experiences in Germany and in Europe.
Today marks the last week before the 90th day I will have been in Germany, which is kind of a big deal because the tourist visa I am here with is only valid for 90 days. My study abroad program has us all apply for permanent residency (!) when we get here, solely because we'll be in Germany for a bit longer than 90 days in order to complete the semester. Buuut, because German bureaucracy is slow and inefficient (wow, who would have guessed?) my visa still has about a month before it's scheduled to arrive in the mail. So after the 90th day elapses, I will be in a gray zone where I'm not supposed to leave the country, because I technically won't have a valid ID to present in order to get back in. :(
Recently, I was struck by the urge to get out and enjoy Europe. I only have this setup for such a short time! Right now I have 3-day weekends free and little enough work that I can just abandon ship almost every week to visit a new place. Two weekends ago I visited Innsbruck, a town in Austria for the day, and this past weekend I went to Croatia with a friend. It was very spontaneous – on Wednesday I booked my lodging and bus tickets and invited my friend, and Friday morning the bus drove out. It was an overnight bus — the travel time from Munich to Zagreb, Croatia is 8 hours, so we chose the bus that left at 2am and arrived at 10am. Which sounds awful – but I did manage to sleep a fair amount, and I had enough energy and enthusiasm that the lack of sleep hardly registered that day.
Croatia was incredible. Zagreb is far inland – most of Croatia is coastline, densely packed with tourists, islands, and beautiful beaches. We were not there, but Zagreb has its own charms. The city feels old and battered. Croatia has endured a lot. The Croatian War of Independence only concluded in 1991, and you can still see damage from it on stucco buildings where exposed brick peeks through. The cathedrals in the city have been rebuilt numerous times due to the earthquakes in the area, and when we visited they were all under construction. Visually impressive nonetheless. I appreciated the construction – it means that things are stable enough in Zagreb that the city is choosing now to rebuild. People only rebuild during peacetime, when things have settled down enough to begin that process, and when they have the spare resources to take care of these buildings. The fact that everything is under construction is a sign of a prosperous and stable Zagreb.
Zagreb is also very quiet. It's a city for the locals, not the tourists, and it's also a city established around a monastery in a deeply Catholic country. During the 3 days we were there, my friend and I saw multiple nuns and a friar out and about conducting their everyday business. My friend is LGBTQ+ and was dressed in a crop top that showed their tattoos when we arrived, and they received constant stares from people around us – old and young. Unfortunately, Croatia does seem to have some ways to go on that front :/
Riding the bus back, our route took us through the Alps. Every time I journey through the Alps I wind up glued to the window of the train or bus that I'm on, and I spent half of our commute like that – especially because I got to see the entirety of the sunset. Whenever I see the Alps there is this feeling that rises up within me – this resolution, "I want to be German." I want to return here, to these mountains. Every journey there feels like a pilgrimage. There is that sense of reverence at something that has outlasted everything I've known and will outlast everything I can recognize. No matter how wrong things go, no matter what happens, these towering mountains will still exist. I feel almost a compulsion to worship them.
Since coming to Germany, my brain has begun to be able to think in German part of the time without it feeling fake or unnatural. Seeing these mountains, I flit between the two languages even more – I can write a journal entry in German and have it feel natural. Wenn man mit diesen Berge spricht, soll man sie »Ihre Gnade« rufen — when you talk to these mountains, you should say "Your Majesty." I have such an infatuation with these mountains. It feels purer, holier, than any romantic love for another person I've felt. Mountains cannot break your heart. They are not fickle, they are not fleeting. They are impassive, and it all falls on you to learn the mountain, to prepare properly, to understand your own limits and stay within them appropriately. The mountain does not recognize you – it has endured all this time. It was here since Hannibal crossed it with his elephants and it will be here when humans colonize the stars. It will be here when your children and your children's children visit this land. These rocks, these crags — but perhaps no longer capped with snow.
I have made the decision to move to Germany after I graduate from college. Not immediately, I don't think – I plan to work for a year or two in the US to build a financial cushion for myself before leaving. But I will do my master's degree at the same university I've been studying at here, LMU, which I have also become deeply enamored with. The baroque architecture of Geschwister-Scholl-Platz — in one hallway, perfectly unassuming, there is a statue on the wall with Archimedes' last words. Do not disturb my circles. I felt such joy when I saw that – excitement that I could translate it, excitement that I knew the story there. And it's so unassuming. (LMU also has world-class resources in my intended field of study, machine learning, too — don't think I only want to study here because the building is beautiful.)
I want to stay here, in Bavaria, where I can visit the Alps every weekend that I can get away. The land of goats with cowbells on their necks. The land that grows strawberries as sweet as candy. With mist-covered mountains and charming thatch-roofed farmhouses… I will return to Bavaria, and I want to stay my whole life here. I want to become a part of this land.
